I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
