Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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