Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
