I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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