K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
