so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
