nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
YAS. BRING CRAB.
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