I met the friendliest cop last night
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
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