He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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