not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
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