you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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