Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
