I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
