she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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