You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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