and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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