i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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