Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
