Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
