i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
