So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
