Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
