Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
