Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
Randomize
