I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
