I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I am mentally ready for anal.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
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