Who did Billy Mays play for?
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
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