My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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