My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
