Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
and you said cock pushups were impossible
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
