I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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