your thong is hanging out like whoa
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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