Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
