YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
