i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Please don't give away my fajitas
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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