Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Randomize
