Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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