I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
