your room smells of hookers.
And success
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
