What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize