i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize
