Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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