So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
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