....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
he's like a stage 5 clinger and he won't even fuck me. he has to be gay. my personality isn't really THAT great.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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