D3 body, D1 cock
they need to just BURY HIM!
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
sick fucks of a feather flock together
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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