Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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