i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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