White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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