I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
