And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
