The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
