all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
