I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
