you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
i want to swaddle you in tequila
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
