ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
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