That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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