Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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