the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize